Post-LASIK (Laser assisted in Situ Keratomileusis)

El ojo izquierdo me molesta, siento basuritas y a veces veo fragmentado, como a través de un vidrio roto. Pero en general veo. Ya veo. No traigo ya lentes, ni de armazón ni de contacto. Puedo meterme a la regadera y ver lo que estoy haciendo, aunque antes también podía, cuando usaba los de contacto. Se me resecan mucho, como en esa época. Pero con los de armazón ya no sentía eso. Había intercambiado las molestias. Ahora era el puente de mi nariz, por el que se resbalaban continuamente. La sensación de algo ajeno e inestable sobre la cara. La lluvia. El calor repentino. La regadera a ciegas. No poder recostar la cabeza de lado plenamente en la almohada, al leer. Perderlos momentáneamente (la búsqueda a ciegas, ridícula). Pero tenían otros beneficios sobre los de contacto, cuyo uso era problemático, arriesgado y tedioso, además de que irritaban la córnea. Ahora no uso ninguno. Es extraño, pero también cómodo, y nada cuesta menos que acostumbrarse a lo cómodo, a lo fácil. Todo mundo me hablaba de la primera mañana tras la operación, abrir los ojos y ver; yo misma fantaseaba al respecto, volver a distinguir las cosas en la primera mirada después del sueño, la sorpresa al enfocar objetos lejanos, que el mundo se revelara cristalino de golpe. Pero no fue así exactamente. Salí de la operación a las tres de la tarde, cuando empezaba a jugar Holanda contra Argentina, y antes de llegar a la casa pasamos a la farmacia. Tenía puestos los gogles transparentes especiales y, encima de ellos, lentes oscuros. En el camino entreabrí algunas veces los ojos. La luz del sol me los perforaba, pero entre el plástico y la pantalla negra y el lagrimeo, distinguía cosas que no hubiera distinguido antes, como letras sobre carteles en las calles. Los cerraba de inmediato, como temerosa de gastármelos. Después llegamos y me recosté en el sillón y me puse una chalina negra sobre la cabeza, la luz filtrada por la persiana me lastimaba muchísimo, y mientras comíamos escuché el partido que encontramos, justo, en el stream de un canal argentino. Nos gustaba que el comentarista no se guardaba su apoyo y orgullo por la selección argentina, nos pareció un buen gesto, que no sonaba mal, que aquí deberían hacerlo más. En los penaltis traté de volver a enfocar y a ratos, en medio de un ardor casi inaguantable, lo logré: el gol de Messi, por ejemplo. Luego de eso me dormí, con los gogles, y desperté sólo para ponerme las gotas medicinales, y volví a dormirme, un sueño entrecortado en la noche pero muy pesado y prolongado por la mañana; debía pasar 24 horas con los gogles, así que dormité el resto del día hasta que fue hora de ir a la consulta y después, al volver, ya no tuve que usar los gogles. Me encontré en la casa, sola, con ojos nuevos, con luz afuera todavía, sin saber qué hacer. Me daba miedo leer, prender la computadora, ver algo en la tele. Por eso empecé a escuchar entrevistas de escritores. Una manera de escuchar algo interesante mientras no se mira nada. Al día siguiente era otra persona, pero ni siquiera recuerdo esa mañana, sólo recuerdo levantarme pronto y con la luz ya muy amarilla -siempre me levanto cuando todavía es de noche- y hacer cosas, hacerme de desayunar, escuchar otras entrevistas, ir a cortarme el pelo, ver una película (era brasileña), pasar el resto del día normal. Después vino el fin de semana, incansable. Después volví a la oficina. Semana larga. Ojos resecos. Lenta adaptación. Pero no. Nada. La verdadera diferencia, el verdadero momento de quiebre, sucedió anoche, cuando me estaba quedando dormida. Fue un viernes largo, movido: oficina, cantina con los del trabajo, desplazarme al centro para ver a mis papás que estaban aquí, largo regreso en trolebús, caminata nocturna. Cuando por fin me acosté estaba tan cansada que me costaba trabajo dormirme. Ahora mi lugar en la cama está frente a la ventana. La persiana negra llegaba a una altura donde la persiana semitransparente seguía, insinuando a través de ella la jacaranda y el balcón, un pedazo del edificio de enfrente y la luz blanca de la lámpara callejera. Y mientras pensaba en el día, en los sentimientos del día, en los pensamientos principales del día, me puse a mirar la ventana, sin pensar mucho en la ventana sino en las otras cosas, hasta que me di cuenta de que veía la ventana, de que estaba distinguiendo todo. Esa fue la sensación extrañísima, el momento eureka tras la operación. No abrir los ojos por la mañana y que el mundo se transparentara a la primera, sino fijar la mirada en un punto y observarlo hasta que la conciencia se desvaneciera. Esa sensación era la que, de verdad, no había tenido desde que era niña. Todas las últimas noches de mi vida se habían disuelto en medio de una bruma hecha de oscuridad y miopía, entre manchones burdos de lo que debía ser la realidad. ¿Desde que era niña no había sentido cómo llegaba el sueño mientras mis ojos miraban con atención algo? La sombra de un mueble, un fragmento de paisaje detrás de una ventana, alguna figura en la pared formada por un haz de luna, las cúpulas de ladrillo rojo de la casa, que fue de mi abuela, donde vivimos muchos años cuando llegamos a Polo. Despertar y mirar esa cúpula. Las ondulaciones de la cortina. Las caras sobre el tirol. Sólo ayer, al dormirme, me di cuenta de que veía. De que las reflexiones nocturnas ya no transcurrirían en una penumbra total sino en la intuición realista de los objetos circundantes. También sentí que fue la recuperación de una sensación física de la infancia, que era la primera vez en muchos años que sentía -percibiendo- algo que no había sentido desde entonces. La memoria aparece algunas veces por otros conductos.

Aquí terminaba, pero creo que debo rescatar los momentos y sensaciones de la operación. Pienso, sin mucha gratitud, que al fin experimenté su primera ventaja, que ahora sí me ha cambiado la vida -por el tiempo que dure, pues se me advierte que no dura hasta la muerte-, después de la breve tortura que significó exponerme a ella. Volver a ver mi cara libre de anteojos no es algo tan lejano, todavía en noviembre así andaba, y ahora que ha llovido recuerdo mi época de lentes de contacto, y nada es tan extraño para no haberlo vivido antes; mi propia madre me dijo que es como verme antes, con los pupilentes, y el ojo rojo, ligeramente hinchado, no ha cambiado en casi nada. Pero ahora me asusta más cualquier luz u objeto cercano, y los detalles neuróticos se exacerban, esas fantasías a la inversa -en clave horripilante- que siempre me asaltan en momentos inesperados (accidentes y dolores), haciéndome mover los dedos de un modo extraño, llevarlos después a otras partes de mi cuerpo, a rascar la cabeza o la nariz o el lóbulo de la oreja o la rodilla, o tocarme el pelo, gestos ahora encendidos por el recuerdo de las pinzas para abrir los ojos, y el aparato que te abre la cuenca y te aprieta el globo ocular, y la mirada siempre atenta, deformada, acuosa, intentando fijarse en una luz verde que se borroneaba o perdía, el sonido del láser, el olor a quemado, el pincel pasando libremente por la córnea, y la mirada siempre atenta, imposible que no esté atenta, que el ojo mire lo que se le hace, esa es la idea horrible, la sensación incómoda, además del dolor, obviamente, y la neurosis de pensar que el ojo debe ser el órgano menos tocado, menos violentado, menos escudriñado de todos.

 

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187 comentarios en “Post-LASIK (Laser assisted in Situ Keratomileusis)

  1. Una de mis mejores decisiones de vida. Tu crónica post- LASIK me ha recordado la mía. Estalló llegando a mi universidad. Me quedé detenido a mitad de la acera de un elevado. Me quedé allí, mirando la vegetación del cerro adyacente como por cinco minutos. No eran colores degradados, era que CADA HOJA TENÍA UN COLOR. Ahora mi visión es 20/20. Pasé «from zero to hero» (sí, tras años de usar muletas en la cara uno asume que la visión es un superpoder) y ahora veo mas allá de lo evidente, como Mum-Ra.

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  57. Sorry, I ran out of credit tamucc thesis This is a type of cookie which is collected by Adobe Flash media player (it is also called a Local Shared Object) – a piece of software you may already have on your electronic device to help you watch online videos and listen to podcasts.

  58. I’m interested in this position thesis questionnaire about tardiness of students NOTES: RW Cal Clutterbuck played his first game with the Islanders. He was acquired in an offseason trade from Minnesota, then sat out the first three games this season with a leg laceration. . Khabibulin was Chicago’s No. 1 goaltender for four seasons, from 2005-09. . The 21-year-old Nordstrom played in his fourth NHL game. . Both teams play again on Saturday night. The Blackhawks host Buffalo and the Islanders are at Nashville.

  59. Sorry, I’m busy at the moment mudd thesis library By the time Flight 214 reached 200 feet, the PAPI’s were all red, indicating that the aircraft was perilously low, according to the instructor’s reported testimony. He also stated that the auto-throttle had not maintained the necessary speed.

  60. Who’s calling? hudhud cyclone essay in hindi HK: Oh, God, again with that. Anyway, so we go up to her and ask her, ‘What are you doing later this week? Are you busy? Can you guest co-host?’ And you said you’d check, and that was the first meeting and then she came on the show and that was it, I mean it was over. Everything was out: The boobs were out, the hair was big, everyone was in!

  61. I like it a lot expository essay hspa prompt «We’re just kind of fishing around right now, seeing where he’s comfortable, whether it’s the 2, it’s the 3. … He can go a lot of positions,» said Don Newman, the Wizards’ co-head summer league coach. «We just want him to get comfortable and play and see what kind of player he is.»

  62. We’re at university together 3.06 thesis statement worksheet answers Second, regulators allowed permanent grandfathering of trust preferred securities (TRUPS) issued before May 19, 2010 for banks with less than $15 billion of assets. These are the legacy of pre-crisis years, when small banks had bundled them into collateralized debt obligations. While TRUPS are long-term debt-instruments making periodic interest payments, they are also essentially considered equity for regulatory capital purposes if issued by bank holding companies, and subject of course to some restrictions.

  63. My battery’s about to run out summary of the essay can the subaltern speak Porgy people would do well to head out to Greenport, L.I., where Capt. Dave Brennan is running full-day, everyday, porgy trips on his Peconic Star Express. He’s been scouting for them out that way at depths varying from 15 to 60 feet, depending on tides and weather. That’s all within an easy hour from the dock. His Peconic Star II, on the other hand, is switching to porgy charters on weekends, with space available now. Get your names in soon, though, since most Fridays are already spoken for.

  64. Do you have any exams coming up? thesis on hogarth In July, Batista ceded control of power company MPX EnergiaSA to German utility E.ON SE. MPX has since beenrenamed Eneva SA. In August, he agreed to sell LLX Logística SA to U.S.-based investment firm EIG Global EnergyPartners LLC for $559 million.

  65. How many days will it take for the cheque to clear? essay ber woyzeck The latter has gotten him into all kinds of trouble and it did so again on Monday, when he was one of 12 players who accepted a 50-game suspension from Major League Baseball for violations relating to the Biogenesis investigation.

  66. Until August hamara jharkhand essay in hindi For Yankee fans, it is the end of an era, a stretch when Rivera was the last pitcher on the mound for four of the team’s five modern-day championships. Of those four titles (1998-2000, 2009) Rivera picked up the save for the three straight World Series-winning clubs under manager Joe Torre. The ring total might have been even higher had two players not gotten the best of Rivera in 1997 and 2001.

  67. I’d like to open a business account utexas thesis submission Trust Rihanna to always be one step ahead of the fashion game. Even while on holiday she doesn't just sling on some cut offs and an old vest, but instead styles it up in a futuristic plastic pink visor. And this particular visor is from French design house Lanvin.

  68. I’m from England thesis ebs The world’s second- and third-largest ad groups are expectedto unveil a plan to merge to overtake current leader WPP, a source familiar with the situation has said. Publicishas called a news conference for 1200 GMT on Sunday.

  69. I’m a housewife eurabia thesis Investigators will also look at the crash-worthiness of thetanker cars, test brakes and wheels recovered from the wreckage,analyze the braking force required to prevent a train of thatweight and size from rolling downhill, and do simulations tolearn about the accident sequence.

  70. I’m from England soal essay ips kelas 7 semester 1 dan kunci jawaban The house was made famous by the classic car crash scene in John Hughes’ coming-of-age comedy. After a day of merriment and parade crashing in Chicago, Ferris (Matthew Broderick), Sloane (Mia Sara) and Cameron (Alan Ruck) discover that the red Ferrari’s odometer has hundreds of extra miles on it. They attempt to remove the miles by running the engine in reverse, but that doesn’t work. Cameron throws a fit and kicks the car repeatedly.

  71. I’d like to withdraw $100, please reflexology doctoral dissertation What better legacy than the gold medal that gave Andy Murray the self-belief to end his major drought and go on to become Britain’s first Wimbledon men’s singles champion for 77 years? Well, a much-needed increase in adult participation, with Sport England having withheld funding from the Lawn Tennis Association over its failure to stop people abandoning the sport. And there is still plenty of work to do on that front.

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